Well, January 9th, made it six months since I had lap band surgery. I have lot of thoughts and pictures to share!
First off, on Wednesday I went to see Sweet Carol at True Results. I lost 6 pounds in three weeks according to their scale. I was surprised it was that high! I think I lost all of that weight right after my last fill. I am still not in the two-teens. I'm hovering at 222 and despite my exercise, my eating choices are keeping me there. :( We did a barium scan and everything looks great. I have no dilation (a pouch above your band that your body can make to try to make a new storage area for your food because you are eating too fast or too much) and my restriction (fluid level in my band) is at a good level. She said everything looks good and then corrected herself and said it looks "perfect." So now it truly is up to me to make this work the rest of the way. Super scary.
In the picture above, the arrow is pointing to my band. The left picture shows my band with no barium. The second picture shows the barium being funneled through my band, the third shows the fluid going into my stomach, and the last one shows it all in my stomach. No wonder my bites have to be small and my chewing has to be good! There isn't a lot of room for stuff to go through!
My eating has not been good lately. I've had Mexican food too many times but OMG I love chips and queso!!!! Christmas started us on a bad habit of getting ice cream in the evening (gasp! I know....) I am still snacking when I get home and my parents gave us a huge bucket of jelly bellys for Christmas. I've been eating those little bastards handfuls at a time. Darn it!!!! The good news is that they are almost gone. I told my husband that I am banning Mexican food for a while and if he wants to go then I will go to the gym instead. Also...the whole um....poop situation that I talked about in previous blogs has disappeared since I have been eating less healthy. It's not a good thing exactly, it's just nice to be able to go like normal people go.
I've been going to physical therapy for my hip and it seems to be improving. I am still tender but it is getting a lot better. I started walking more again this week but I am taking it slower. I also started circuit training this week to increase my strength. I think that is helping too. I am kind of hooked on that. My new routine is to go in, circuit train, walk on treadmill, hit the massage chair....ahhhhhh. I am constantly thinking about when I can go to the gym again. Thank goodness my husband is so supportive. I am becoming a gym junkie.
I felt good enough to walk the 5K this Saturday. There were a lot of hills. I found it really difficult to go slow so I probably pushed myself more than I should. My daughter won a medal for 3rd place in her age group. I like the fact that this lifestyle is affecting my family in a positive way. I pushed my son the whole way in his umbrella stroller and my time wasn't that far off from my last 5K. I ran a little on the downhill (shhhh - don't tell.
This weekend was a BEAUTIFUL weekend for hiking. We went to two local parks and had such an amazing hike both days. I love hiking so much. I love exploring new places and I like feeling like I am rugged when I am not. The first day I went with my daughter about two hours after our 5K. Have more energy these days? Yes I do! I saw this picture on the right and I really felt good about it! I posted it on FB and received lots of positive comments. A friend actually sent me a comparative picture with this picture taken yesterday and one that was taken two and a half years ago:
I was feeling so positive about everything and then...I took my six month banded pictures....
it kind of broke me down with the harsh reality of how far I still need to go. I also haven't seen much change since my last progress picture. My husband reminded me that the most dramatic changes have already happened. There will probably not be any more huge dramatic changes because my weight loss has slowed. It's still happening, it has just slowed down considerably. The biggest changes will be in the difference between the beginning and the now pictures. I've decided to focus on the journey instead of the small increments of pictures since I can't really tell much of a change from October until now.
I have lost that red shirt and the shorts don't fit anymore so I have to wear the tighter black ones. I am wearing a sports bra and a knit cami - sorry about the cleavage, I was trying to pick an outfit that would show my body. I'd never wear either outfit in public, but I will post them online for the entire world to possibly see.
This picture is odd because it looks like the old me is smiling at the new me and the new me is grimacing at the old me and sending death threats. I looked like such a happy girl.
I sure wish I had remembered which direction I had turned so that I could line them up.
Here is my favorite...the booty shot. This and the picture are above are the ones that saddened me the most. That is...until I compared them. Now...who cares if I am not as small as I looked in the hiking picture....I'm still a lot smaller than I was this summer! I just have more to go.
Here is the line up. It's still big, but it is getting smaller.
Hmmmm....My hair is longer and the picture quality is better. Otherwise...not much to see here. Maybe my chin is smaller and my face creases are not as deep. Eh - whatever - check back in another six months.
The top things I
1. My new affection for exercise-it's my new MUST have- it's not just physical, it's the mental clarity and goal setting I love also.
2. The feeling of control, power, and general well-being I have- I'm no longer spinning out of control constantly thinking about food and my next meal.
3. The new friends I have made and the support I have found. I love blogging even though it's tough to find time to do it sometimes. I am looking forward to making a book out of it so that I can keep it and look back at my journey.
4. The way my husband looks at me and I love hearing him tell other people about my success.
6. Constant daydreaming about what I will be capable of when I get closer to goal.
7. I am a soup-eater now. I've never been a soup-eater but now I love it. I don't have to worry about eating it correctly and it goes down well.
8. I love when people ask me about my lap band and I can share my story. I would SERIOUSLY love to work for TRUE RESULTS. HIRE ME!!!! (is this thing on?)
9. All the positive comments from people telling me how much change they can see. I read and reread everything and I repeat conversations in my head. It keeps me feeling motivated.
10. I can't overeat like I used to.
The things I don't like about my lap band:
1. I can't overeat like I used to. Sometimes I still want to gorge myself but I can't.
2. Even though it's not a big deal when it happens, I don't like the throwing up when I do bonehead things like not eating slowly or not chewing correctly.
3. It doesn't overcome my mental problems with food. Those are still there and are difficult to look at sometimes.
4. I miss being able to really enjoy a sandwich and I will never again be able to eat deep dish pizza. I can eat sandwiches sometimes but it's not a normal thing because it takes a long to eat and I have to be REALLY careful.
5. I really am not super fond of my port. I touch it all the time and sometimes I can feel it when I am doing crunches.
6. Not crazy about the fill process, but I love what they do for me.
Would I do it again? YES, YES, YES. Ideally I would have never been fat...but since that was a regret of the past, it was time to be solution oriented. I wish every day that I had done it sooner. I'm glad I did it now instead of another five-ten years down the road. I'm finally starting to live the life I wanted for myself and my family. I am healthier and I will live longer for my children because I made this choice. Not everyone needs it, but I needed the help. I'm not ashamed of my choice and I never will be. I'm proud that I was aware of my weaknesses and assertive enough to take the steps I needed to in order to fix myself.
The next six months should be interesting. I fear these six months will be more of a struggle. I'm already fighting for every pound. I need to get on board with eating correctly and continuing my exercise journey. I don't ever want to go back. EVER. I love my new life. LOVE.