LilySlim - Weight loss

Sunday, January 12, 2014

6 months banded with pics!

Hello Friends!

Well, January 9th, made it six months since I had lap band surgery.  I have lot of thoughts and pictures to share!

First off, on Wednesday I went to see Sweet Carol at True Results.  I lost 6 pounds in three weeks according to their scale.  I was surprised it was that high!  I think I lost all of that weight right after my last fill.  I am still not in the two-teens.  I'm hovering at 222 and despite my exercise, my eating choices are keeping me there.  :(  We did a barium scan and everything looks great.  I have no dilation (a pouch above your band that your body can make to try to make a new storage area for your food because you are eating too fast or too much) and my restriction (fluid level in my band) is at a good level.  She said everything looks good and then corrected herself and said it looks "perfect."  So now it truly is up to me to make this work the rest of the way.  Super scary.

 In the picture above, the arrow is pointing to my band.  The left picture shows my band with no barium.  The second picture shows the barium being funneled through my band, the third shows the fluid going into my stomach, and the last one shows it all in my stomach.  No wonder my bites have to be small and my chewing has to be good!  There isn't a lot of room for stuff to go through!

My eating has not been good lately.  I've had Mexican food too many times but OMG I love chips and queso!!!!  Christmas started us on a bad habit of getting ice cream in the evening (gasp! I know....)  I am still snacking when I get home and my parents gave us a huge bucket of jelly bellys for Christmas.  I've been eating those little bastards handfuls at a time.  Darn it!!!!  The good news is that they are almost gone.  I told my husband that I am banning Mexican food for a while and if he wants to go then I will go to the gym instead.  Also...the whole um....poop situation that I talked about in previous blogs has disappeared since I have been eating less healthy.  It's not a good thing exactly, it's just nice to be able to go like normal people go. 

I've been going to physical therapy for my hip and it seems to be improving.  I am still tender but it is getting a lot better.  I started walking more again this week but I am taking it slower.  I also started circuit training this week to increase my strength.  I think that is helping too.  I am kind of hooked on that.  My new routine is to go in, circuit train, walk on treadmill, hit the massage chair....ahhhhhh.   I am constantly thinking about when I can go to the gym again.  Thank goodness my husband is so supportive.  I am becoming a gym junkie

I felt good enough to walk the 5K this Saturday.  There were a lot of hills.  I found it really difficult to go slow so I probably pushed myself more than I should.  My daughter won a medal for 3rd place in her age group.  I like the fact that this lifestyle is affecting my family in a positive way.  I pushed my son the whole way in his umbrella stroller and my time wasn't that far off from my last 5K.  I ran a little on the downhill (shhhh - don't tell. 

This weekend was a BEAUTIFUL weekend for hiking.  We went to two local parks and had such an amazing hike both days.  I love hiking so much.  I love exploring new places and I like feeling like I am rugged when I am not.  The first day I went with my daughter about two hours after our 5K.  Have more energy these days?  Yes I do!  I saw this picture on the right and I really felt good about it!  I posted it on FB and received lots of positive comments.  A friend actually sent me a comparative picture with this picture taken yesterday and one that was taken two and a half years ago:
I was feeling so positive about everything and then...I took my six month banded pictures....
it kind of broke me down with the harsh reality of how far I still need to go.  I also haven't seen much change since my last progress picture.  My husband reminded me that the most dramatic changes have already happened.  There will probably not be any more huge dramatic changes because my weight loss has slowed.  It's still happening, it has just slowed down considerably.  The biggest changes will be in the difference between the beginning and the now pictures. I've decided to focus on the journey instead of the small increments of pictures since I can't really tell much of a change from October until now. 

 I have lost that red shirt and the shorts don't fit anymore so I have to wear the tighter black ones.  I am wearing a sports bra and a knit cami - sorry about the cleavage, I was trying to pick an outfit that would show my body. I'd never wear either outfit in public, but I will post them online for the entire world to possibly see.


The picture above is my new picture with an overlay of a partially transparent old picture.  I matched up my eyes as best I could.  You can see a change in my midsection and my arms. 

This picture is odd because it looks like the old me is smiling at the new me and the new me is grimacing at the old me and sending death threats.  I looked like such a happy girl.

I sure wish I had remembered which direction I had turned so that I could line them up. 

Here is my favorite...the booty shot.  This and the picture are above are the ones that saddened me the most.  That is...until I compared them.  Now...who cares if I am not as small as I looked in the hiking picture....I'm still a lot smaller than I was this summer!   I just have more to go. 

Here is the line up.  It's still big, but it is getting smaller. 

Hmmmm....My hair is longer and the picture quality is better.  Otherwise...not much to see here.  Maybe my chin is smaller and my face creases are not as deep.  Eh - whatever - check back in another six months.

The top things I like LOVE about my lap band:

1.  My new affection for exercise-it's my new MUST have- it's not just physical, it's the mental clarity and goal setting I love also.
2.  The feeling of control, power, and general well-being I have- I'm no longer spinning out of control constantly thinking about food and my next meal. 
3.  The new friends I have made and the support I have found.  I love blogging even though it's tough to find time to do it sometimes. I am looking forward to making a book out of it so that I can keep it and look back at my journey. 
4.  The way my husband looks at me and I love hearing him tell other people about my success.
6.  Constant daydreaming about what I will be capable of when I get closer to goal.
7.  I am a soup-eater now.  I've never been a soup-eater but now I love it.  I don't have to worry about eating it correctly and it goes down well.
8.  I love when people ask me about my lap band and I can share my story.  I would SERIOUSLY love to work for TRUE RESULTS.  HIRE ME!!!! (is this thing on?)
9.  All the positive comments from people telling me how much change they can see.  I read and reread everything and I repeat conversations in my head.  It keeps me feeling motivated.
10.  I can't overeat like I used to.  

The things I don't like about my lap band:

1.  I can't overeat like I used to.  Sometimes I still want to gorge myself but I can't.
2.  Even though it's not a big deal when it happens, I don't like the throwing up when I do bonehead things like not eating slowly or not chewing correctly.
3.  It doesn't overcome my mental problems with food.  Those are still there and are difficult to look at sometimes.
4.  I miss being able to really enjoy a sandwich and I will never again be able to eat deep dish pizza.  I can eat sandwiches sometimes but it's not a normal thing because it takes a long to eat and I have to be REALLY careful. 
5.  I really am not super fond of my port.  I touch it all the time and sometimes I can feel it when I am doing crunches.
6.  Not crazy about the fill process, but I love what they do for me. 

Would I do it again?  YES, YES, YES.  Ideally I would have never been fat...but since that was a regret of the past, it was time to be solution oriented.  I wish every day that I had done it sooner.  I'm glad I did it now instead of another five-ten years down the road.  I'm finally starting to live the life I wanted for myself and my family.  I am healthier and I will live longer for my children because I made this choice.  Not everyone needs it, but I needed the help.  I'm not ashamed of my choice and I never will be.  I'm proud that I was aware of my weaknesses and assertive enough to take the steps I needed to in order to fix myself.

The next six months should be interesting.  I fear these six months will be more of a struggle.  I'm already fighting for every pound.  I need to get on board with eating correctly and continuing my exercise journey.  I don't ever want to go back.  EVER.  I love my new life.  LOVE. 


Saturday, January 4, 2014

Sweater Dress and Injuries

Hello Friends!  Sorry for the lapse in blogging - I've been enjoying my Christmas break - for the most part.  These first two pictures are of a 5K we did on December 14th.  I had my best time:  44:13 -which put me at a 14:16 minute mile.  It was a good race and I felt good.  I wish that had is THAT for foreshadowing?

I didn't fare very well on my eating the last week of school.  There were soooo many treats and the kids kept bringing me chocolate!!  Crap!  The ABSOLUTE funniest thing that happened was that I bought a girdle so that I could fit into a very snug pair of size 18 jeans.  I actually bought it to wear my sweater dress but it worked like magic so I tried it with jeans on our last jeans day of the year.  One of my students said, "Mrs. M..., you have lost a lot of weight!"  I thanked him and acknowledged that I "have been working on it".  Then he said, " since YESTERDAY!  Thirty pounds!"  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I went in to see Carol at True Results and I was able to get a .2 fill.  It has made a big difference and it has put me much closer to where I feel I need to be.  I go in this Wednesday for a barium scan.  I still feel like I could handle a little in my band but I will see what the scan shows and what Carol says.  :)  I don't want to get a pooch above my band.  I think my biggest problem is still eating too fast.  I talked to Carol about my hip pain that has been becoming more and more of a problem and it is not only interfering with my ability to exercise, it is hurting my ability to walk!  She said to take a week off and if it still bothered me to go see my primary.

I took my week off and then I started to notice a rash on my jawline.  It got worse and I asked a friend of mine to see what she thought and she said go see someone SOON.  This is a picture of what I discovered was a MRSA infection that I more than likely got from the gym!  Pretty huh?  DANG IT!

So on Christmas Eve morning I went to the doctor and got a shot of antibiotic, a liquid prescription for an antibiotic, a follow up appointment the day after Christmas, and a warning to go to the ER if it got any worse.  Thank goodness it didn't get any worse, otherwise it would have had to be drained.  As it was, I spent much of my break with a band aid on my face.

It is finally fading away now with no surgical draining and no one else has received this gift of joy from me.  It was kind of scary. 

I went back to exercising while my infection was healing.  My husband drove by and saw me out walking.  The picture on the left was unexpected, the picture on the right was after I sucked in my tummy.  Tee hee hee.  He bought me some new workout clothes and I LOVE this Nike jacket.  It's so warm and it was little holes for your thumbs so your hands stay warm.  I can't wait to do our next race in it.

 The pictures above were the last day I was able to exercise hard because of my hip pain.  The picture below was the last time I exercised period.  We went hiking in Pedernales Falls State Park.  It was beautiful.  I walked down some stone stairs and I felt a pop in my hip.  It was painful but I struggled down the rest of the way and we took some pictures. 

. After this my husband took the kids up to a higher point in the falls.  I tried to follow but I was in pain and decided not to risk it.  At one point on the way back I felt a stabbing pain in my hip.  I almost fell down it hurt so much.  Then it happened again and I was scared because I was by myself and had a way to go before I was back at the car.  I imagined a helicopter having to airlift me out or strangers having to (gasp) CARRY me!  Hello terrifying to a fat person!!  I eventually worked my way out of the falls area and back to the car.  I had difficulty walking at all after that.  I went to the doctor Monday afternoon and I have bursitis in my hip.  Bursitis is an inflammation of the fluid filled sacks around a joint such as a hip, knee, and shoulder.  This is often caused by a sudden increase in activity....hello bursitis!  I got an incredibly painful shot of cortisone in my hip joint and I started physical therapy for 2x a week for three weeks.  The good news is that it's not serious and I should be doing great again soon.  The bad news is that I have to take time off at a crucial period of weight loss!  I got down to 220.5!!!!  I gained about four from there and have been heading back down since then.  I am SO close to the teens!  I had planned on doing two a days at the gym over break.  That plan fizzled between the infection on my face and the injury.  ugh.  I'm trying hard not to be derailed. I have a 5K next weekend that I would like to walk in (however slowly). 

In some good news...I got the sweater dress and boots look I was going for this year!  Check me out...and yes...there is a girdle in there to hold all my jiggly parts. 

Lately I have been STARING at my pictures.   I am not kidding.  I stare at them.  I have also been staring in the mirror.  I can't believe that the person I see is REALLY me.  It's really me.  It amazes and shocks me.  I am really starting to become proud of what I look like and and how I feel about myself in a way I've never known.  I've always had anti-anorexia (always feeling better about how I look than I really should), but I always focused on one aspect like my eyes or teeth or something.  Now I just feel good overall.

I know I am not there yet and I still have plenty of "fat moments" where I remember how far I still have to go...but now I can actually SEE some progress and it's like I have the vision of the ending line.  More importantly, I can FEEL it.  I bought another size 18 jeans this week.  I tried on three pairs and they all fit really well.  It made me super happy to be down another size without a huge muffin top and a girdle is not required. 

I hope to be in the teens the next time I blog!  Just to give you some perspective on what I used to look like, here are some throw back pics:

Love to all!  Thanks for reading!