LilySlim - Weight loss

Sunday, December 8, 2013

I thought I survived Thanksgiving....

But actually, I got on the scale and although I survived the DAY, I did not survive the week.  I wound up gaining five pounds over the week.  This week I have been working to lose the weight again. It was up and down and I got derailed by an awesome potluck at work- too much deliciousness.   I have done it as of yesterday morning.  Last night I had some snacks and drinks of the alcoholic nature, so I did not maintain it I think.

The good news is that I worked out three days this week I think.  It might have been four, but I can't actually remember.  I've been stretching more and I think the plantar fasciitis is dissipating but my knees hurt more and my hips have just started bothering me.  Time Marches On.....I guess I'm getting to be an older lady....long sigh...


I've been improving my time and running a little more on the treadmill in the cinema at the gym.  I love that room!  It's dark and no one can see you and besides, they are watching a movie and couldn't care less what you are doing.
The treadmill on the left shows you that I was able to walk/run 4.5 miles in 65 minutes on Friday.  Today I was able to walk/run 4.56 miles in 65 minutes.  




The deal with the 65 minutes is that the treadmills in the cinema only allow me to go for an hour before it forces me to do a five minute cool down and then resets.  I'm going to try to just keep improving how far I can go within that time limit.  :)
I am really enjoying the gym.  I'm really glad I decided to join and that my husband is so supportive of helping me find the time to go.  I'm lucky.  

Speaking of the hub, my new favorite thing is when he points out pictures in the house and tells me that he can't believe that is me when he looks at me now.  I love that.  No seriously...I LOVE THAT!  It reminds me of how far I have come so far.  He is doing another 5K with me this weekend.

I still struggle with making good choices all of the time.  It's so hard not to snack.  If I count my calories on myfitnesspal and keep myself under 1000, I am golden.  I lose EVERY time.  When I let up and relax my plan, I get into trouble and then I get frustrated that I didn't lose.  Everything seems to go down okay with the exception of untoasted bread, cakes, and muffins as long as I CHEW SLOWLY!  I get sick about twice a week usually after I know I have eaten too fast.  Then I just want to reverse time so I get a redo.  There are no redo's when it comes to proper eating.  Once I swallow something that I didn't chew completely...I'm screwed.  I have to push my plate away until it either comes back up, or my body has time to process it.  I'm still learning, and despite these occasional challenges, I am so glad I got the band.

In fashion news, I have decided that I am going to try the much admired sweater dress, leggings, and boots look! I have the dresses and the leggings.  I ordered some boots.  I will take pictures if I can pull it off.  :)  Speaking of pictures, tomorrow is the ninth of December.  This means it is my five month bandiversary.  I need to take another round of pictures.  I'm afraid I won't have much change to show.  It seems like I have stayed the same for the last two months or I have made minimal changes.  At some point I want to catch up with all my favorite blogs.  It's hard enough for me to get my blog written!  Christmas break is coming up soon.  It will give me time to catch up with my blogging besties!

Love to all!  Thanks for reading and have a great week!










Sunday, December 1, 2013

Surviving Thanksgiving

Hello All!

Thanksgiving was such a great break!  I needed to get away from work and spend some time with the FAM!  Wednesday we packed and headed out to visit my parents.  We stopped to pick up our race day packets for the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving and we met for lunch at Corner Bakery.  My brother (marathon runner, tall, thin- you get the idea)and his family and my parents met us there for lunch.

Everyone was there when we arrived.  Mom said she looked at me from across the restaurant and wasn't sure if it was me!  It's nice to be unrecognizable sometimes.  I felt good that day.  My hair was working out right, I had make up on, we were getting ready to do something healthy the next day...

We went to bed early enough, but my son started getting ill that night.  It seemed like every time I was almost out, I'd hear "Mommy, I want..."  I was pretty tired in the morning for the run, but being tired wasn't my biggest problem.  IT WAS FREAKING FREEZING!!!  I thought my fingers would fall off.  My husband and daughter ran with me along with my brother and his family that were running the 10K (overachievers!).  I really wanted to do the 10K, but I wasn't sure I could finish within the recommended 1hr 15 minutes.  I wanted to walk it and it usually takes me 1.5 hours.

At the end, I didn't run at all - I walked the whole thing and I felt great.  I was barely winded.  I am disappointed that I didn't feel more challenged or challenge myself more.  My plantar fasciitis is coming back :(  so I am worried about pushing it too hard right now.  I was in a boot about 6 years ago for 6 weeks.  Last year, I couldn't have walked a 5K.  This year I fast walked it with no problem at all.  My official finish time was 46 min - I was trying to get under 45 minutes  without running but I didn't make it.  Next year I am going for running a 10K!



Foodwise, I did okay.  Not good, not bad.  I was back down to 225 when I got home.  I'm not complaining!  I did some shopping, made some homemade goodies, did a little more walking, and pretty much enjoyed my entire  week.  C'mon Christmas break!!!

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Lots of news!

Lots of things to talk about today!

1)  I went in on Tuesday to see Sweet Carol about my band.  My blood pressure was the best it's been EVER.  It was something like 117/74.  woop whoop!  According to their scale, I had only lost .5 pounds a week for the six week stretch.  I explained my frustration and my issues discussed in my previous post.   I explained that my biggest problem was when I am cooking and I grab a handful of peanuts while I am waiting on my meal.  I talked about my exercise calories that myfitnesspal gives me for exercising.  Carol said not to use those calories and to stay within 1,000-1,200 calories a day.  After that part of our discussion, I knew I needed a fill.   We decided to do a .2 fill.

2)  This fill has been absolutely FABULOUS!  I feel great, I can go longer stretches without eating, I haven't had any stuck issues, and here's the best part:  I am losing again!

3)  According to my scale I was 231 on Tuesday, 229.6 on Wednesday, 227.4 on Thursday, 226.2 on Friday, and 225.4 on Saturday!  That's right!  I OWN the 220's now (but not for long I hope - I don't want to doom myself by making such a comment).

4)  How am I losing you ask....  I am using myfitnesspal on my iphone to track every calorie as best as I can.  I am going to the gym as often as I can which this week, it was Monday, Wednesday, and today.  I wish it was more.  When I go, I get on the treadmill and walk/run.  I am gradually increasing my running.  I typically walk 4.0 mph and when I run I bump it up to 5.0-5.5mph.  There is no formula I use to decide when to run.  I just go when I feel compelled or when I am close to ending a mile that I want to improve my time.  My best time so far has been 4.09 miles in 58.15 minutes.  I am really nervous about the 5K Turkey Trot.  Running in front of people?!  I may just have to walk the whole thing.  We will see.  I'll be sure to take pictures.


5)  I love the gym and all the changes that are happening to my body.  I feel so strong, so energetic, and so eager to keep going.  There are so many ups and downs on this journey.  I like to treasure the ups and really savor them.

6)  Speaking of savoring...I've been shopping lately.  I bought a new coat.  It's an XL.  Last year I bought a 3XL.  It's amazing the difference a year can make.  I'll see if hubby can take a picture for me to post.  I've been getting everything XL.  It fits!  I am totally loving shopping now.  I look at things in the store and think there is no way it will fit me but I try it on anyway for fun.  Then...it's like magic...it fits!  IT FITS IT FITS IT FITS!  I tried on a gagillion things today but I came home with one sweater and a pair of jeans. I felt terrible for the ladies working there who had to put away all my stuff.  At least they were all hung up - not everyone does that!  I currently have one pair of jeans that fit me....so I felt justified in buying them.  The sweater was red and sparkly and well, I just had to have it.  :)

Love to all!  Thanks for reading.  :)

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Well

Hmm.  Not much to report.  I'm still stuck at 231-232.  I glimpsed 229 and then it was gone as quickly as it came.  My eating has been sporadic.  I still eat too fast.  I think I just need to start using my timer again.  I can pretty much eat whatever I want these days as long as I eat slowly.  :(  I wish I couldn't.

I want that feeling back from right after surgery when I had zero desire to eat.  I want to eat these days a lot.  I'm starting to get pretty frustrated so I am glad that I go see Carol on Tuesday for another follow up.  I don't want to be one of those people that have their band so tight that they can only eat liquids...but I may have to be while I am in this losing phase.  I'll see what Carol has to say on Tuesday.  Maybe I will ask the nutritionist for a plan.

Speaking of nutrition...I made the most wonderful chicken tonight!  
It's Spicy (not that spicy) Honey Chipotle Chicken.  Hubby was impressed and actually so was I!

http://www.the-girl-who-ate-everything.com/2010/05/girl-who-didnt-eat-everything.html



In other news, I joined a Gold's Gym Express yesterday.  I haven't been able to get my walking in these days because of the time change and the weather.  It's been getting dark so early, I don't feel safe walking after 6pm.  Joining was fun!  I pay $20 a month for unlimited access to equipment and I can bring a friend anytime I want.  I also get unlimited tanning (I won't use) and massage chair access.  I can dig some massage chair action.  

So while I was signing up, the guy working there was all flirty with me - called me beautiful once (snort).  I know they are supposed to do that to get business, but it was refreshing.  I haven't had a man besides my husband flirt with me in like...forever.   He asked me what size t-shirt I wanted with my membership.  I told him an XL and I was hoping on the inside that it would fit.  He looked at me and said "No...you'll want a large."  I wrinkled my nose in protest and he said to trust him because they run a little big.  I took the damn large shirt.  I did all my walking and really enjoyed the gym.  I am intimidated about using all the strength training equipment but they offer classes to show you how to use the equipment and make your own program.  I am looking forward to that and I am convincing myself that I am not afraid of the gym.  

This morning I went to school to work on some things for this week.  I left there and went to Lane Bryant to try to size myself again and buy some new bras.  My boobs are turning into a sad, wrinkly mess as they deflate.  I am planning "that" surgery as soon as I am close to goal.  My bras are no longer fitting correctly- it's like I have a big hole where my boobs used to be!  I wasn't sure if it was the cup or the band or the fact that my old ones are are all stretched out.  Soooo, I bought two more today I am down to a 38 - I was a 40- but my cup size stayed the same unless I want them to runneth over.  I do notteth wanteth them to runneth over.  So hooray for new bras finally!  

I tried on that damn t-shirt today and...it fit!  I don't think I have EVER worn a size large t-shirt.  I like that place!!!  I am going tomorrow after my school, meeting, and my ride home!  I can't wait!  

Oh....wait!  I forgot the coolest part!  The machines at the gym are the IFit machines.  They partnered with google maps and there is a screen on the treadmill.  I mapped out a workout on the website.  I am virtually walking through Central Park tomorrow and I got a free package that takes me through the national parks.  I'm pumped about it.  

Thanks for reading.  I know I haven't been that interesting lately....just seem to be stuck in a rut.  I am hoping this gym membership helps.  Love to all!

Friday, November 8, 2013

and goodbye...

Hello 220's...and goodbye 220's...and Hello 220's....

These two weeks since my last post have been a bunch of up and down.  I go up, and I go back down...

There hasn't been a whole lot to report.  No doctor visits, no milestones...just going down to 229 and then back up to 233.  There has been some puking.  I discovered that I can't eat macaroni and cheese anymore and I also can't eat in the morning before a cup of coffee.

This is less than exciting.  Oh yeah...the time change has really done a number on my walking.  I'm not sure when and how I can fit it in.  My dog really misses it too.  :(

I will be taking 120 day pictures this weekend.  I doubt you will tell any difference.  Maybe I should wait until next month.  I go see Carol on the 19th- I'd like to have some more poundage gone before then.  We'll see....

Love to all!

Saturday, October 26, 2013

HELLOOOOOOOO 220's!!!!

Where you been all my life?!  Oh yeah that's right...you were hiding way underneath my fat butt!

No matter where you've been....I'm SOOOOOOOO glad to see you now!

That's right guys...I hopped on the scale this morning and I was 230.1 and then I pottied and tried again and I was 229.7!!!  It's a new era.  I really don't remember being this weight.  I know it was after meeting Jason but before getting married - like twelve years ago.  I was a size 18 when I met him and I am a solid 20 right now in any size clothing.  Some 20's are too big, some are just right, so I may be getting closer to 18. Wow.  As soon as I was getting super frustrated about plateau-ing, I had major loss this week.  I lost a half pound to a pound and a half every day this week.  I am back on track (until I plateau again and then I will have to read this post again and know I just need to stick with it and it will come - but there may be more whining....just bare with me).

The only thing I was able to improve this week was my water intake.  I was not able to exercise more in the evening due to scheduling conflicts.  I only walked 15 miles this week and it was all Saturday, Sunday, and Monday so it wasn't all technically this week.  I consciously drank more water and tried harder to stop snacking.  That's it.

A couple of things that are concerning me:


  1. This whole poop situation (Dad, you may want to skip this part).  I used to have zero problems doing a number 2 pretty much whenever I wanted.  Since being banded those #2's have understandably slowed down because of my reduced food intake and for the simple fact that I no longer gorge myself uncontrollably with more food than my body would ever burn by sitting on the couch.  These last two weeks have become a real problem.  I have started taking fiber supplements and I have been increasing my vegetable intake.  It only seems to make it worse.  One day I literally thought I was going to have to go to the hospital and have my poo surgically removed.  I could only imagine how THAT conversation was going to go with the triage nurse.  THANK GOODNESS I found some glycerin suppositories in my cabinet.  I refuse to look and see if they have an expiration date- I don't remember buying them.  Those little babies have helped me get through the week.  I may just have to start taking a laxative every night before bed.  Any recommendations on a good one?
  2. I've started losing more hair in the shower.  It's not clumps, I've just noticed an increase.  I've started taking biotin supplements to try and stop it.  I've always had such thick hair, I'm not that concerned, but I'd like to stop it.  I also got some new vitamins that have biotin in them.  
  3. I've started taking iron supplements that may be affecting the whole poop situation (see bullet #1), but I had a friend hospitalized because of her iron levels being too low.  I get so excited about the weight loss, it's easy to forget how important what I eat is to my body and my well being.   
Other than these things, I am really happy and I have a ton more energy than 40 pounds ago.  I only wish I had been able to have this surgery years ago.  I'm glad I had it now.  :)  I feel good, I'm looking better, my health is better, I've made some new friends and rekindled some old friendships!  What's not to like?  When I saw my doctor this week she had a questionnaire about depression.  I almost had to laugh as I answered the questions.  I'm the furthest thing from depressed right now.  I'm a happy girl who needs to quit blogging so I can go join my family.  Love to all!  Thanks for reading!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

NSV (Non Scale Victory)!!

I went to the doctor today and unfortunately I had to wait an hour past my appointment...frustration - especially when I had to take a half day to get there on time.  But I absolutely LOVE my doctor.  She's actually a physician's assistant, but I adore her.  I've never seen a physician that can top her.  She takes time and listens to me.   It wasn't her fault.  Here I am waiting in my hospital gown with my butt crack facing the door.  This is always a good position to wait in...

There are a bunch of NSV's to report:


  • I was visiting to get my annual and I haven't seen her since I had surgery.  I was looking forward to seeing how much weight I had lost since I last saw her.  It was 45 pounds... 


  • Then I had my blood pressure checked and it was 120 / 78.  Booyah!

  • She removed some skin tags that I got during my pregnancy for free because I waited so long - AND she loves me.  This has nothing to do with my band...but work with me here.

  • Next we went over my lab work.  The last time I had blood work done was 2006.  I am pretty sure my numbers got worse and not better before surgery.  

  • Here is the comparison: 


I was pre-diabetic in 2006.  That's what the glucose is.  Look at the huge change!  She was also impressed with the triglyceride levels.  I think she said that is fat in the blood or something and is an indicator of people that overeat a lot.  GUILTY.  Anyway...it's really good now!  She wants me to work on raising my HDL cholesterol and lowering my LDL even though they are both within good range.  

I am going back in 3 months to check my iron levels.  I told her my concerns about making sure all was good with the lab band and my absorption levels.  

Is it wrong to be excited about seeing the doctor?!  If this is wrong, I don't want to be right!




Sunday, October 20, 2013

Feeling discouraged...

Hello Bloggers, Friends, and Family!

I thought that last fill would send me on my way to extreme weight loss!  Unfortunately...it has not.  I feel more hungry now than ever.  My biggest problem is after school and the evenings.  I want to eat, eat, eat.  I used to be able to not eat breakfast and be fine.  Now I need that again too.  What the heck?! I thought I was almost in the 220's, but I've been bouncing around in the 230's all week - gaining more times than losing.  The lowest I got was 232.  At one point I was afraid I'd be back in the 240's.  Has anyone else had this experience?  I know my band is in place because of the barium test last time I visited.

I am not sure what is going on.  I think it could be a few things...I only walked 12 miles this week - two episodes.  It was just so busy and it got cold this week.  I need some cold weather walking/running gear.  I also am wondering if my water intake has decreased and I'm actually more thirsty than hungry.

This week I pledge to drink more water and exercise at least 4 times.  C'mon 220's!!!!!!!

Here are some pics I took this week.  I still have a lot of work to do...long sigh.

Stupid big butt.  I can't find jeans that fit my waist that fit over my butt. 

OMG- this picture really shows me how much work I have to do still.  I hate that front butt I have! 











Wednesday, October 9, 2013

90 days banded!

On July 9th, 2013 I got my lap band!  My life started changing along with my relationship with my nemesis, food and my ability to exercise!!

It's been good to me.  Below are my 90 day pictures, as promised.  I had to change shorts because I couldn't find the old ones.   These are short, very fitted shorts.  These show a bit more than the old ones.  I can't tell as big a difference in these pictures from the last ones...but I can sure tell a difference from the beginning!!  This is so fun!  I can't even imagine where this is going to go for me!  This first picture on the far right is not a good face for me...but the body is doing MUCH better!  It's hard to match the pictures up exactly - my husband is not the most patient photographer...so when you are looking at them, look for changes to the smoothness, not necessarily the overall size.  K- thanks :)


What is this....a waist?!!  Where has THAT thing been hiding?!


 I can tell a difference in the contour of the bod in this picture.  Much less lumpy overall.  


I think this blasted booty will be the last thing to go!!!  Man my hair has gotten much longer.  Actually when you look at my head...it's much smaller in the first picture.  I should have made this last one smaller.  That is encouraging.  



I've decided that I want to work for True Results and be a patient advocate.  Any ideas on how I go about getting this job?  Anyone out there have connections??  Hook me UUUUPPPP!!


These are a couple that didn't make the cut from the shoot today!  I feel like I am starting to look like a normal person!  

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Pictures!

So these are not the 90 day pictures I promised, but there is a good fatty comparison picture between August of last year and August of this year...plus a few surprises. 

Here I am last year....and this year....I can't wait to have a next year!  In the picture on the left I was about 285.  In the picture on the right I think I was around 255-260 or so. 

First Barium Test
In related news...I went in to True Results today for a follow up appointment.  I wasn't sure how I felt about a fill or not.  I've had some puking incidents but it is almost always at night when I have either eaten too much or too fast.  Sooo...I don't feel like I have a really good indicator as to whether I am at the right fill zone or not.  I lost 3 pounds in the two weeks between my last visit when Carol did not give me any sweet juice.  She was happy with my three pounds as they want you to lose between 1-2 pounds a week and I was at 1.5.  So I talked to Carol about all of this and she suggested a barium test...but they don't offer those at night.  But then she remembered that they had a doctor on staff tonight!  She got me in for my first barium test.  This is when they take an x-ray of barium going through your band.  I stood in front of a machine...fully clothed.  You can see my underwire in the picture.  The black stuff is the barium.  You can see the shadow of my band around the thinnest part of the black stuff.  That is the funnel.  The puffy part is the barium going into my stomach.  She was really happy with everything and said I had some room for more saline if I wanted it.  She would be okay waiting another visit or doing it now.  I opted for now.  This fill was another painful one.  Holy freaking smokes!!!  I don't understand why sometimes they hurt like hell and other times it's a breeze.  Personally...I prefer the breezy kind!

Carol (my band caretaker) and Me
This is me and Carol today.  I wanted to get a picture with her so that I could share with you the sweet lady I get to see when I go to True Results in Austin and I also wanted to take a picture when I lose more weight to show you how I compare to her over time! 

I really tried not to sound creepy when I asked her for a picture.  I'm not sure how well I succeeded.  We are close like that...in my head anyway.  I love how in this picture I don't look like a total giant next to her!!  I am so used to looking like a complete giant next to normal people in pictures.  Granted, she is wearing her "bullet proof" vest for taking x-rays...but still - I have to run with it. 

I've been walking still and loving it.  Tomorrow is my 90 day bandiversary.  I am so glad I had this procedure.  I am so much healthier and I feel like I can accomplish so much more now.  I wish I had done it sooner.  I continue to be in awe at the fact that I can walk so far now - 4-6 miles pretty much any time I want to.  I am in a better physical place! 
Post walk and blog

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Lori!!!

Thank you Lori!   First off -for reading my blog and providing such great feedback!  Second- for creating my cool new banner!  I love it!

Monday, September 30, 2013

Comfy in the 230's

Well,  I went in last Tuesday to see a lady about a fill.  Carol said no this time.  I had lost six pounds in two weeks so she was happy with that and wouldn't give me any more of the sweet juice.  I left feeling a little fearful.  It's like the training wheels are coming off and now I am on my own!  I've dropped from a solid size 24 to a mostly everything is tucked in size 20.

I'm not ready to be on my own!  My meal sizes are still a bit too big and my biggest problem is snacking while I am cooking dinner for the family.  ugh.  I am not supposed to snack at all.  I had an okay day today...coffee and a protein shake for breakfast and then yogurt and cottage cheese for lunch and ritz crackers and cheeseball for dinner.  geesh.   My saving grace was that I didn't eat the dinner I made because I ate so many snacks and I walked a nice six miles in 1 hour 24 minutes.  Booyah!  Then I came home and I had two small Chobani greek yogurt cups.

I am hoping to rebound from the bit of weight I put on this week.  I got down to 137 and then it has been wavering every day.  I am hoping the scale starts moving again this week after my fabulous period.  That is usually when more weight comes off.  After my trip to the restroom this afternoon....I was sure I'd be down at least five!  Speaking of...I'm noticing some constipation lately.  I'm not eating as many vegetables and fruits as I used to because I am worried about the protein and the time it takes me to eat during my twenty minute lunch break.  I need to find a way to get the veggies in - at least I am taking my multi every day.

My September walking ended as follows:


 Hello PEOPLE!  I was trying to walk 50 miles in September but thanks to a friendly competition and my new addiction to walking, I have walked 71.48 miles this month.   This literally blows my mind.  My husband told me tonight how proud of me he was and he put it in perspective by saying it was like I was walking two 5K's back to back with my new 6 mile routine.

I really need to take some more before and after pictures. I am having a hard time locating that red shirt.   Maybe I should do it October 9th - that will be my three month bandiversary.  It's hard to believe that's all it's been.  It's seems like it's been a part of me forever.

This picture on the left is my school picture this year.  It was taken in August.  I like it - but mostly because I compared it to my last year's picture.  It's a big difference.  I will need to post the comparison.

That's about it for me.  I'm just chugging along.  I'm trying my hardest not to eat when I am not hungry.  It's tough.

The exercise has become a part of me.  I love my walks now and I plan my week around when I will be able to go.  Give me some sneakers, my Runtastic, my music, and headphones...I am good to go.

Did I REALLY just say that?  SERIOUSLY!??


Sunday, September 22, 2013

230's!

Guess who hopped on the scale this weekend and was 238.3?!  That's right....this girl!!  I can't remember the last time I was this low.  I saw my family this weekend and it was so nice to hear all the positive comments from my family.

I've been slacking in the walking this week since I won the challenge last weekend.  This week I am back in attack mode!

I also have another fill appointment this week to see about getting one.  I'm not sure how I feel about whether I need one or not.  I am losing weight, but I've had to start eating a soft lunch because I simply don't have enough time on my teacher lunch schedule to eat like I am supposed to with the lap band.  It feels like if I don't get a fill, I am not moving forward.  I know my thinking is wrong, it's just what it is.  I guess we will talk it out and decide together on Tuesday.

This week has been tough with the allergies and stuff.  I was super stressed on Friday and I wanted to come home and EAT!  I tried some chicken strips and it was a no go.  It is nice that when I can't do it mentally, my band has me covered to keep me on track.  I was sick and it was painful.  Sometimes I love it, and sometimes I am frustrated by it.  I've never liked being told "no".  

I will try to get some new before/after on the journey pictures this week.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Ouch!

My allergies have been driving me crazy this week and so has my band.  I have been stuck a few times on things that I normally don't have a problem with.  I put two and two together and I think my problem is the allergies are causing digestion problems with my band.  I've heard of a mucus plug that makes swallowing difficult in times of cold and allergies.  So...I am dealing.  This has been my most uncomfortable week.  Lots of painful eating.  Ouch!  It's enough to break me of it altogether!

I've had a lot of stress lately with work.  I have taken on more than I can handle this year.  People keep asking me to do extra things and I keep agreeing.  Duh.   I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed on the career front.  I feel like I am always behind on something and I'm not doing the best I can at anything because I am spread so thin.  I keep thinking that things will look good on a resume when I decide to move on.

On a positive note...I talked a lot about it on Facebook but I don't remember if I mentioned it on my blog but my friend and I were doing a competition to see who could walk 50 miles in September first.  This challenge was supposed to last all month.  Instead, we finished it in two weeks.  It was a fight to the finish.  We kept pushing each other harder and harder to do more and more often just to keep up.  Did I mention that she lives in California and I live in Texas?!  Now I am wondering if I should just go for 100 for this month.  My body is worn out, but I think I can pick it back up before I lose my momentum.

I am seeing my family this weekend and I am really looking forward to it.  I'm anxious to see what they see.

I got my new school picture back today and I got to compare it to last years picture.  It's a nice difference.  I will post it next time.  I miss reading all my friend's blogs.  I miss seeing what they are up to.  I must catch up with all of you this week.

Love to all,

Your exhausted friend, Jen  :)

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Third Fill

Hello Loves!!

It's been more than a week since my last blog (confessional booth).  I have been lacking in the blog cracking.  I don't want you to stop reading because I love all of the comments and feedback so therefore I must keep blogging so you will not get bored with me and move on to other chicks.

Speaking of other chicks...I haven't made LapBandGal's blog list of recommended blogs.  :(  My feelings are a little hurt but I won't let her see me crying.  (sniffle)  SOMEONE loves me (hi Mom) even if it isn't the lap band guru.  Maybe I will stop reading HER blog! That will show her I mean business.  Oh wait...I have 14 that follow me - she has like a thousand or something.  Yeah...she won't miss me.  But then I won't have to hear about how she is spending all of this time with these other blogs. I had big dreams of us being together but now I guess I should delete her from FB too.

Feeling so silly - the endorphins are flowing from my walk tonight.

I had my third fill today.  I love Carol.  I actually love the whole True Results office staff.  They are starting to recognize me and I talk to them.   I love trying to make Carol laugh.  I told her how nervous I was about this fill because it felt like she did the last one with her teeth.  She said she had never heard that before and ...she laughed. I also told her how I thought she turned her head last time to laugh a little when I said "holy crap".  She denied it, but I know.... I am so less nervous about things when I can make people laugh.  I handle stress with laughter.  It's my thing.

So I had .4cc added (or is it ml).  I was down just 3 pounds from the four weeks since my last fill.  Ugh.  I have been just maintaining. I knew my eating was not to par.  I have been hungry again.  I've been exercising like a beast.  I am glad for that or I would have been gaining.  I was hungry when I went into my appointment.   One sweet, smooth stick from Carol and suddenly not hungry.  It always amazes me when I get a new fill how instantaneous the results are.  All the worry about pain was for nothing.  It was smooth like the first fill.

I am looking forward to this new phase of weight loss.  230's here I come!  I need to blog more, but I smell funky from my 4.5 mile walk and I am zonked.

Love to all!!

Monday, September 2, 2013

forehead deodorant?

Hello Bloggers and Readers!

I am irritated.  I need to post about it because I can idly sit by no more.  I sweat when I exercise.  I sweat a lot.  It seems to come mostly from my forehead and work it's way down.  The sweat rolls down my forehead and into my eyes.  It burns a lot!!!  Yes, I know there are headbands for just such a thing...but I just don't dig this look.
 And I can definitely tell you that this look does NOT dig me.  Sooo...what is a girl left to do?  I need some sort of forehead deodorant that won't sting your eyes.  Future invention?  I think yes!!!

Things in lap band world have really stagnated for me.  I missed my last fill appt and I suppose I really needed that fill.  Despite my more intense exercise routine - I am routinely walking four miles in an hour, about 3-4 times a week- I am not losing any more weight.  I am snacking more often (bad...I know), and it's showing in the lack of loss.

My sister in law is trying to convince me that I should walk in the morning (like at 4am).  The rationale is that nothing can get in the way (except for my big lazy butt staying in bed at 4am).  Often times our evenings are taken up by various things that are out of our control - but nothing gets in the way at 4am. I am interested...but not convinced.  If I can't maintain a good exercise schedule this week, I will have no other choice but to 4am it.  I'd like to avoid it though.  I did my four miles this morning pushing the baby (35 pound toddler) in his stroller. This is me on the right looking super fabulous with no makeup and sweating it up.   It was much more difficult taking the baby with me.  At first I was energized, but then I was dragging all afternoon.  I can't afford to drag at work in the afternoon.  Those kids would eat me alive!  Sooo...I'm tossing the idea around in my head.

I am starting a competition to walk 50 miles in the month of September with my friend who lives in San Francisco.  We are friends through Runtastic, so we can check each other's progress. I think it's going to be fun.  Next month I think we should do straight up how many can you walk in the month.  I think we are on to something here.

I found these pictures below that I wanted to share.  You can see where I was before I started Weight Watchers and before I was banded.  Not pretty...  In fact, I looked kind of manly.  Ugh.

Here is a more recent one.  I like it a lot better.  I need to get back to losing.  I need to lose, with or without a fill.  My grandfather is coming to visit in October.  I would like to be in the 230's before he gets here.  He hasn't seen me at a "reasonable" size in so long.  With him in his 90's, I'm not sure how many opportunities I will have to show him that I am changing my life.  

Love to all!  Thank you for reading and keeping me posting!  It's going to be a great week!

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Thank you Lap Band Gal

Thank you LapBandGal for your recent post.  It got me going and helped me correct my lazy butted-ness since I went back to work (according to the rulebook - teachers have to go back to work in August - dang that rule book!!).  

Last night I posted that I would walk tonight and I did.  After I posted I caught up with some of my favorite blogs and one of them was LapBandGal posting about getting over your excuses and remembering what you are fighting for.  No one else is going to fight for me to lose weight and live longer but me.  My husband has fought all he could by supporting me with this surgery.  It's my battle to win or lose.  This cost too much and I am worth too much to not follow through just because things got busy for me.  My time of being a jackass is over.  :)  At least for this particular reason of not exercising due to many excuses....I still reserve the right to be a jackass for other reasons.  

After reading blogs, I put my walking shoes on and hit the street.  I've walked four miles on the weekend before but never in the evening after working my tail off all day.  

Now tonight I wanted to go for another 4, but I had a terrible cramp under my ribs.  I wanted to throw up a few times.  I wasn't able to do another 4 miles.  
I keep telling myself that two months ago, I wasn't walking a mile on a regular basis.  Although it's not what I wanted for tonight...it's still progress.   







Goodnight Bloggers!  Love to all!

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Phooey

Well crappers...
I was supposed to go in for a fill today but I forgot!!  Seriously...I waited for these appointments like I waited for water this summer.  Today...I completely FORGOT!  How does this happen?  Welcome to the all-encompassing, fills your life to the brim, leave you utterly exhausted and brain-dead profession of teaching.  Don't get me wrong...there are some parts I absolutely LOVE about teaching.  Without these great parts, I couldn't devote my life to the profession.  These great parts are there, so I carry on.  Seriously though...it sucks the life out of you.

So this blog is about my band and not teaching....  I am less than impressed with my progress this week.  Real life kind of sucks.  I don't have the time or energy to do any of the things I need to do.  I haven't exercised since LAST Monday! Diet is okay.  I haven't eaten much, haven't cooked anything really, and my house is a wreck.  Tonight I had a taco and some chips with family and I was sooooooo uncomfortable!  I had to leave and I felt crappy the entire drive home.  I kept spitting into a container.  It wasn't throw up...just spit and I felt so terrible! That tightness that hurts so much!  The feeling finally went away when I got home.  It was such a relief.  I think the flour tortillas may be off limits to me now too.  This makes me more sad than donuts and bread combined!  :( :( :(

I haven't really lost any weight this week.  Maybe two pounds.  Maybe.  It changes every day.  I am still looking for that balance.  I think I just need to kick my butt into walking no matter how I feel.  In fact...here you go blog world....I will walk tomorrow and I will blog my runtastic progress.  So there.  Hold me accountable tomorrow!  Please...

Thanks for reading, by the way!   I will try to keep it up.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

My absence

I have only ten minutes of battery left to make a great and memorable blog post since I was absent from posting for a week and a half!  Thank you to those who reminded me to post (Lori).  I'm glad you miss it when I don't post!

As you can tell from my absence...I have gone back to work.  School starts on Monday! We had inservice this week.  My school has a new principal this year and with a new principal comes lots of changes and with change comes lots of stress.  This week has been a challenge on my brain and my new lifestyle.  I have come home exhausted at 7pm three out of the five nights this week. I had a presentation to give for the district on Wednesday, so Tuesday night was spent finalizing everything with my partner.  That was a ten o'clock night.  Meet the Teacher was on Thursday until 6 then I rushed to my daughter's school to meet her teacher.  I'll be going in tomorrow to work in my room and my lesson plans.  "Yay, back to work"...said no teacher.  EVER.

I went to Zumba on Monday and I have not exercised since then!   I have to find a way to make this work for me.  I have lost about a pound this week so far - maybe two.  I'm not sure if I am in my green zone, but I am close.  My eating has been okay.  Sometimes I know I eat too fast.  Sometimes I am in a hurry!  I do actually forget sometimes that I am banded.

My knee started bothering me this week.  I had shooting pain while going up the stairs.  Not sure what that's about.  I'm scared to find out.

My little man fell down tonight and smacked his head on our hard wood laminate flooring.  I swear it was the worst sound I have ever heard.  I thought we were going to make an ER trip tonight, but my favorite nurse made a house call and told me to keep an eye on him.  So he is sleeping next to me as I type this.  I am hoping we stay out of the hospital this evening.   I don't like head injuries.

I know this post is pitiful, I am just obsessed with school right now.  I will try to get into a rhythm with more posting and of course back to exercise once I get back into a routine.

Summer - I miss you already!




Thursday, August 15, 2013

Last Fill May be the Ticket

I had my second fill on Tuesday.  I had lost nine pounds since my last fill (according to their scale) so they were happy with me.  I really wanted a sticker!  I was feeling very proud of myself.  I thought this second fill would feel like the first but this one hurt like a $?!@.  I swear I thought she pulled it through my skin to access the port and then shoved it back through - with her teeth!  I think she even giggled for a second (she had to turn her head quickly)  when I said "holy crap!"  Sadist!

She (Carol) put in .7 and I can't remember where that puts me now- it's somewhere between 6-7 I think.  This last fill didn't seem to make a difference right away, but now I can feel it.  I have to eat really slow and I am not hungry really at all until mealtime which is much smaller now.  I thought I was stuck again today but I went to the bathroom and PB'd for a little bit - no throw up,  just the water I swallowed to try to push it down, which I am not supposed to do.  Der...  It was just like last time when I was out to eat and had an incident.  I was talking, distracted, and not following the rules.  Live and learn I guess...

I have been losing every day.  I weighed this morning after a FUN night with some shots on 6th street in Austin after the Bruno Mars concert (AWESOME!!! I have an old lady crush on that little man).  I was anticipating a problem but I was 247.6 and then later this afternoon I was 246.5.  This would be so exciting if I cruised through the 240's.  

Going to the bar made me wonder what it will feel like to have men "look" at me like that again.  Do men look at ladies like "that" when they are close to or over 40?  I really don't know....  I'm glad my husband saw me for my inside beauty -  unless he secretly has a fatty fetish...uh oh...that might be a problem.  I hate that I wasted so much of my life being so overweight and lethargic.  Oh well...those days are over.  Time for me to go for a walk!  Here is a picture of us out last night.  I guess I should crop my friends since they didn't give me permission for me to put them in my blog.  Details!  I had an absolute ball!

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

240's here I am!!!

FINALLY! I weighed myself this morning and I was 249.5!!!  I have broken new ground.  Working in my classroom must have helped me yesterday because I don't think the Thai food helped so much!

Yay for new frontiers and for my next fill today!  If anything big happens I will post again today.  I can no longer eat bread.  It feels tight and gross when I do.  I've also become a little relaxed in my bite sizes and my chewing.  I need to get back on it.  It's just hard to eat soooo slow all the time.  Sometimes I want to eat fast and get it over with so I can move on to the next thing.  Yesterday I had a whataburger chicken melt with no bun for lunch.  It was so good.  Grilled chicken breast, poblano peppers, onions, and monterey jack cheese.  They made it with no bun, no problem, and gave me a tray, and a fork and knife to eat it with.  It was delicious!

Hub found some old pictures of me on our old camera.  You can really see how big I was.  If I can find the cord, I will post those too.  Sometimes it's fun to see how big we really were.

I am not ready to go back to work!  I'm worried about establishing new routines, how I'm going to maintain my exercise routine when I am mentally drained EVERY night.  This will be a transition for sure.

BUT...I AM IN THE 240'S!!  La la lalala la la la la la!  Nothing can stop me now.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

30 days banded pictures

I had a bunch of people tell me that I look a lot better.  I have to tell you...I can't tell much difference from the pictures below.  :(  I wonder if people are just looking for it and are eager to motivate me.  It's nice to hear...but I don't see it.  I hope to soon.  Fill #2 on Tuesday - more limitations to my eating.  I still haven't tried soda - it's been off my list of acceptable food since pre-op.  Good riddance I say...

Here they are:





Friday, August 9, 2013

My first PB and hopefully my last

Last week was great for me.  I was on target, losing weight every day.  This week I went to San Antonio for a conference and it was more difficult than I anticipated to eat right.  I did all right with my eating, but not fantastic. I mostly had a protein bar for breakfast and something light for lunch - one day it was a tuna kit.  The alcohol may have been my problem but I had straight tequila instead of mixing it to save calories.  I did okay, but still a little off course.  I had fun though.

One night we were out to eat and I had ordered a chicken breast and some sweet potato fries.  It was over cooked, the bite was bigger than it should have been, and I swallowed.  dum dum dummmmmmmmm....I was uncomfortable almost immediately.   I decided to take a drink of water to help it down.  I tried burping, but that didn't work.  I decided to make a run for the bathroom. I did and thankfully it was empty except for the attendant.  It was weird and I think it was a Productive Burp (PB).  I didn't exactly vomit, but water came spewing out of my mouth in two separate occasions.  I expected the slime to come as I waited for the chicken to come back up.  I stayed in the bathroom for a while and the tightness in my chest went away.  I think the chicken went down because it never came up and I felt better.  The rest of my meal was just the fries!  I have no desire to ever be really stuck.  I was pretty uncomfortable.

The last few days I have been hungry again and more often.  I have been exercising a lot...like 800% more than I have ever done before.  I'm sticking with the 3 mile walks.  I even went walking my 3 miles in San Antonio.  That's the Alamo behind me.  I was trying to keep my time, that's why I barely slowed down and my picture is crazy-faced.

I am struggling again close to my second fill.  I am so frustrated about EVERYTHING right now. I am sensitive and emotional.  I am irritable and very very pissy.  PMS?  I would suspect.  Now if I can just keep myself from pissing off my husband too much in the meantime by my extreme emotional nonsense.  I want to eat everything I can find and it REALLY pisses me off that I can't!!!  Agh!!!

I am at my thirty day mark which means I need to take another round of pictures.  I don't feel like I am in my green zone yet.  I am still ahead of the schedule the clinic gave me for where I should be in my weight loss, but it feels like it should be more.  Maybe in a couple of days once my attitude improves.  :)  Aren't I a barrel of laughs!??  Wouldn't you love to be married to me?!  Geesh...

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Great walk

I improved my time tonight!






My friend Allison went with me.  Yes, she is really that cute in real life and I dwarf her in every picture every taken, but I do love her!  She is going to be my walking buddy around the hood.  It's not really because she needs it, but because her Labrador does.  

I improved my time!  I don't know how I can go much faster without running.  Maybe more conditioning will surprise me.  I feel like I am nearly running now!  

You know...eating less calories than you burn really works for losing weight.  I've just never been able to do that before the band.  Thank you Lap Band!  I still need a name.  Some peeps have named their bands and I feel like I need to join the "BANDwagon".  Hardy har har.  

Short post tonight since I had a long post this afternoon.  Love to all!  Thank you for all the positive feedback and support.  If you are thinking negative things, thank you for not sharing!  :)

Great meals! New shoes!

THE FILL HAS HELPED SOOOOOO MUCH!!  I am happy to no longer be in bandster hell!

I would tell you that I have lost all of the weight that I gained last week since I got my first fill this week, but I can't tell you that because I said I wasn't going to get on the scale every day!  So I can't say that.  BUT...if I was still getting on the scale every day, I would be able to tell you that I am now back at 251 and I am close to the 240's again, and I would be very excited.  :)

I have been exercising almost every day.  My blisters on my heels have been bleeding.  I got some special bandaids that helped yesterday.  I am starting to feel like the exercise is a routine now.  It's a necessity and not something I can just put off.   I've been walking, swimming, playing racquetball, just trying to be overall more active.  I want to go back to Zumba class but I have to admit, I'm a little nervous about it for some reason.  Walking with my headphones and my dog has made such a difference.  I feel less pain when I have music, and I am more motivated with music.  As soon as I start to slow my pace, a new song comes on and I am energized again.  I've been listening to
on my phone while I am using Runtastic.  The dog helps me actually get out the door.  She is used to the walking now and she follows me around in the evening until we go.  Heaven forbid if I put my walking shoes on...she is ALL up in my business.  Her name is Missy and she is a rescue puppy that had heartworm when we got her at age 3-5yrs.  We had her treated and she has fully recovered.  She is such a doll: 

 I ordered some new shoes from Amazon this week.
They are the ASICS Gel Kayano 19.  I love ASICS and I think these look snazzy.  I had to order online because my feet are gigantic now.  I used to wear a size ten shoe but after my son was born, all my tens were too small.  Now I am an eleven and no one carries a variety of shoes in that size in the stores.  I love the feel of new running shoes and I can't wait to try them out.  They are supposed to be here Monday.  

I am totally loving two new apps I got for my phone that work together:  Runtastic and MyFitnessPal.  
Runtastic tracks your walk/run/hike or whatever and gives you feedback on how far you have walked, what your pace was, how many calories, etc.  It is motivating for sure!  I want to beat my time for each 3 mile trek I make.  It also links to FB if you want it to.  That way friends can encourage you while you are walking.  If they do, you get a break in your music and you hear a funny voice say  "I LIKE IT".   Tell me that's not motivating!  

Runtastic links to MyFitnessPal and it will track with your food diary and tell you how many days in a row you exercised and how many calories you burned.  MyFitnessPal reminds me of Weight Watchers in that if you use the food diary, it is easy to track your food.  It has a bar code scanner and there are a lot of foods in the program.  I used to get frustrated with WW because they didn't have all the foods I eat.  MyFitnessPal has EVERYTHING.  It even has all of my favorite HEB foods in there.  Easy works best for me.  Both of these apps are free.  Tracking my food on the diary allows me to keep my calories under 1000 easily...with the lap band restriction of course!  I can't recommend these apps enough. 

On the food front, when I went to get my fill on Monday, I picked up a Lap Band Friendly Meal Plan from an wall of random papers.  It's a meal plan for a week and recipes!  The recipes have been really good.  I made orange rosemary chicken, roasted salmon with maple glaze, cranberry walnut oatmeal, and I am going to make turkey burgers for lunch and white chicken chili tonight.  Hello Yummness -  nice to meet you!  These recipes have all been doable so far:  easy directions, and reasonable ingredients.  The picture below is the salmon, two TB of mixed veggies, and 1/4 of a sweet potato served on my very small plate with an oyster fork, and my half glass of wine and .  There is me goofing off with a r-ball buddy.  

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

First Fill

Thank freaking goodness!!! I had my first fill today!

For those that are not in the know about the lap band (which was me about 3 months ago), a fill is when saline is added to the band which increases the tightness of the band and decreases your hunger due to the increased pressure at the top of your stomach.

Fills are performed with a needle in the clinic.  I heard "needle" and immediately my stomach dropped. I was so nervous about it, I thought I was going to have diarrhea on the way there!  Nervous stomach much?!?

It turns out that all of my worry was for nothing.  I didn't look at the needle and it didn't really hurt.  It was uncomfortable for like 15 seconds, but that was it.  I now have 5.5cc's in my band.  :)  I love not being so hungry.  It frees my mind.

I was immediately not hungry and I feel in control again.  I will go again in another two weeks.  I have 24 hours of liquids again and then 24 hours of mushies.  I picked up a meal plan in the lobby that had some great recipes so I made my grocery list from that.  I am going to be out of town a couple of nights next week so I may bring some food with me or make good choices at restaurants or both.

I was also given a chart of my expected weight loss.  I have recreated it below.


So I am right on track essentially for where I am supposed to be.  She told me that it is very common for people to gain weight before their first fill.  I am right on track for hitting my 30 day goal and I may surpass it.  I have committed to not weighing myself until my two week visits at the clinic.  That may be the hardest part!  

My friend Lori gave me some good advice about running.  I am right not to run this early on.  It is too much pressure on my knees.  


"But if people are more than 20 pounds overweight, Lane says they shouldn't start off with an intense running regimen.
"I have them walk and walk until they're to a point where I think their body mass is reduced enough that it won't traumatize their joints," she says. Otherwise, significantly overweight joggers run the risk of that extra weight stressing the knee to the point of inflammation, the formation of bony spurs and accelerated cartilage loss.""
So I am right about continuing to walk.  My original magic number was 220 but now I think it should be 200.  I need to just keep walking and getting after it.  :)  

I almost forgot!  I also bought a new food scale today.  Now I am no longer guessing how much I am eating.  
Love to all!

Monday, July 29, 2013

Exercise, other stuff, and pretending to be a model!

Hello Friends- and Mom...

So I am off obsessing about the stupid scale.  It doesn't define me and the weight loss will come with more fills as long as I don't go nuts.  I have been eating right the last few days and I am feeling good.

I went on a long hike with Hub (yes, he is back!!) and the baby boy on Saturday.  It was much more humid than I thought it was going to be.  I sweat like a dirty old man!  From the picture you can tell that my shirt is messed up at the neck and it's because I kept using it to get the sweat off my face and out of my eyes.  There was a lot of up and down and I am talking about the terrain and not my jiggly parts.  I started logging my hike on Runtastic (my new favorite app along with myfitnesspal) after we had already started.  I am guessing the hike was around 3 miles.  It was right at my limit for the heat and the terrain.



Yesterday I didn't exercise but this morning I went for a long walk on a nearby trail with my hub and son.  We went early enough so that the heat was not too much and I felt like I pushed myself.  

I was tired when we were finished and I have blisters on my feet.  When we get paid, I very dearly need to get some new shoes.  The ones I have right now are great for hiking and uneven terrain, but they are terrible for concrete walking.  Someone suggested I go to RunTex and have them watch me walk so that I can get fitted for the right shoe for me.  The idea of someone watching me walk and evaluating it makes me nervous.  

I think eventually I want to run and train, but my magic number for running I have decided is 220.  I need to get rid of some of this excess weight before I kill my knees trying to run.  At least I know I could walk a 5K based on my recent walking excursions.  We would have been even faster today if it weren't for letting the baby out of the stroller to walk.  

I took a long shower, blow dried my hair, put some makeup on and I may or may not (no one was here to witness said event) have pretended to be a model and took pictures of myself in the name of my blog.  :)  Someone is feeling good about herself!  The scale may not tell me, but my disappearing double chin tells me that things are moving in the right direction.  :)