1st Post Op Doc appt.

It's my one week bandiversary!  Woop Woop! This is me about 3 minutes ago.  :)

I am feeling MUCH better the last two days!  Once I figured out that the nausea was caused by hunger,  a couple of milkshakes set me straight the last two days.  I've been feeling amazingly better.  I am still burping a lot, but it is improving each day.

Today I went in to the clinic for my post op with the True Results staff.  I like them a lot, but it seems every time I go in there they are running late and I always have to wait at least a half hour.  They are always apologetic, so I think it is coincidental.  I am the giver of multiple chances...anyway...it's not like I can leave them now.  They kind of have me by the lady balls (I've always wanted to say that!!!) now that I am banded.  All of my aftercare is paid for with them.

I was weighed and they show that I lost 12 pounds, not 16 as I showed.  I don't know what weight they used.  I used my heaviest one since I started seeing them which was right after I binged before starting pre-op diet.  I was dressed and I had breakfast.  Whatever.  It's all a loss.  My blood pressure was 114/81.  Nice.  Instead of being happy about 12 pounds lost, I keep obsessing about the fact that some people can lose 20 pounds their first week and why didn't I?  Ridiculous I know, especially since I ate ice cream the last two days.

While I waited for the nutritionist I tried really hard to eavesdrop on the conversations in the adjoining room.  It was fruitless, but one time I thought I heard McDreamy's voice, so I proceeded to look out the window and wonder which fancy car in the parking lot belonged to him.

The nutritionist gave me the go ahead to eat mushy food now.  HOORAY!  I never thought I'd be so happy to eat mushy food!  No more liquids for this girl, or ice cream for that matter.  :(  I can eat soupy stuff, soft stuff, pulverized stuff....  On the way home I got a small Wendy's chili because my protein shake that morning had run out.  I could only eat 5-7 bites of it before I felt full.  It's such a bizarre thing.  I made a grocery list and dragged my unwilling daughter to the store with me to purchase my mushy food.  I made a mushy lasagna tonight.  If it all goes down well tonight I will share it tomorrow. When I got home from the store I was really hungry again so I had maybe a teaspoon of chicken salad. Now I have a great looking dinner and I feel too full to eat it!

I told my husband about this new experience and he laughed and said, "Geesh Jenny, you are going to be like those hoitey toitey ladies that take two bites of something and then say 'I'm stuffed and couldn't eat another bite!'"  I think he is right.  I hope he is right.

This brings me to another thing I've been thinking about.  As much as I want to see myself being successful with this approach, I can't visualize me being a slender human being.  I can't see it.  I want to see it.  I really do.  I think all the previous failures are holding me back from feeling truly confident about this.  Instead of "I am" or "I will", I keep thinking "I hope" and "I want".  I need a vocabulary restructure.

All in all things are good.  I miss my boys and I am ready for them to come home.  I am going to some workshops this week for teaching so I am going to be busy.  I will need to pack and plan ahead.  It's my first challenge of being away from home that long.

Much love to all.  I am so glad and so thankful that you comment and let me know you are reading.  It means a lot to me.  :)